When I wake up in the morning, I see this half-built closet. It draws my attention more than anything else in my house now – and the reason is it so compelling are instructive.
Our bedroom didn’t have any closets, so, right before Christmas, we started building one. We had to take a break from it because we traveled to see family and friends over the holidays. I’d stopped thinking about it while we were traveling, but now that we’re back in Chicago, it’s on my mind all the time.
What I find so interesting is that this closet is one of many many projects around the house need to be finished. My wife and I bought a home that had been neglected for years, and we’ve been doing some of the work to fix it up ourselves. We have a list with dozens of things to do, from painting, to adding a fireplace, to installing a laundry room cabinet. But this half-built closet is particularly powerful: I can’t ignore it.
As a behavioral scientist, I suspect I know why the closet is on my mind: some of which is ‘obvious’ and some of which isn’t. First, it grabs my attention because it’s in my line of sight. It’s hard to avoid looking at it. As I get up in the morning, and as I get ready to go to sleep at night, it’s there, reminding me. Second, it’s incomplete, and our minds tend to focus on and remember incomplete tasks en route to a goal. Third, the next steps are unambiguous and something I know I can accomplish. And fourth, we have a clear and immediate need for the closet (we’ve even started hanging clothes there without a door on it).
Right before Christmas, I also launched this website — to get feedback on a book I’ve been writing. The book is about how we can each design our environment to support our spiritual growth. And, as I look at this closet, and it’s an example of how much our environments matters, and how our spiritual lives usually aren’t as attention-grabbing and compelling as a simple, stupid closet. But, if we design our environment thoughtfully, we can make it just as compelling.
-
Reminders matter. What in your spiritual life grabs your attention and helps you think about spiritual matters? For me, it’s a Bible by the bedside (just like the closet, I see it morning and night), and some reminders on my calendar.
-
Goals guide action. The clearer the goal, the more we can plan for it, and make it part of our lives. It’s something I personally struggle with, because I grew up without any religious background, and I don’t have a reference point for a ‘healthy’ spiritual life. I just know I want to explore and understand more. For the closet though, the goal is clear — and it’s clear that it’s incomplete.
-
We avoid the unattainable. People are naturally hesitant about and avoid trying things they believe they will fail at. And sometimes, we set spiritual goals that are laudable (be a ‘perfect Christian’) but are unattainable. Setting a series of goals, that help us work up to something great, is often more effective. My friend Dan, a professional carpenter, showed me how break the task of building a closet into attainable steps. For spiritual growth, what are those attainable steps towards something better, and who can serve a mentor on that path?
-
We act on the urgent. Where is the urgency of spiritual growth? From what I’ve seen, people rarely feel a sense of urgency — and it’s easy for us to push off. With the closet, my wife is here with me, asking for it, and the stack of clothes next to it makes the need pressing. In our spiritual lives, how can we create urgency? We can ask our spouses and friends to help create it with us. We can get ourselves on a schedule with personal milestones. And we can intentionally focus on our unmet need, and how we need to act on it to build the spiritual lives we seek.
These analogies are difficult. And a bit clunky. I know that. But they are also useful. As we seek spiritual growth, we too often think it’s just something that happens, or something we need to vaguely “put more energy into”. If instead, we thought through the practical obstacles we face, and how to overcome them (creating urgency, setting up reminders, etc.), we can make it easier to focus on what matters: spending time with God and having more meaningful spiritual lives.